If you are facing difficulties of divorce, you may be feeling very overwhelmed. Sometimes divorce can be a true shock, a rug-pull, that catches you without any time to prepare. But even if you’re the one filing for divorce, if you’ve been thinking about this choice for months and years, you can surprise yourself to be going through with it. The fact is, outside of pulp noir novels, no one standing with a loved one in front of a priest or a justice of the peace plans to end up here, mired in the confusing, stressful, and lonely process of divorce.
Difficulties of Divorce | Tough Decisions
In most cases, you’re only going to feel more disoriented in the weeks and months after you serve or are served your divorce papers. Soon you’ll be swimming in Latin phrases like pendente lite and ab initio, and hacking a path through acronyms like MSA, QDRO, IRA, and ICMC. You may end up discovering things about your spouse that surprise you, like hidden bank accounts and spending habits and even whole businesses. You’ll be forced to confront your own values, and make tough decisions about what you want to spend, to discover, to compromise, and to fight. If you have children, that ambient background-worry you know that constant drone-note of concern for their safety, their happiness, their future, will rise in pitch and volume.
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This can be a debilitating atmosphere. You may want to rush through the divorce as quickly as you can. You may think that you want to punish your spouse. Or you may want to pass most decisions off to your attorney and withdraw from the process as much as possible.
Difficulties of Divorce | Finding the Right Attorney
Divorce is adversarial. Excepting the rarest cases, when spouses have no disagreements whatsoever, the fact that one party has filed for a divorce essentially splits a former team into two opponents. How you fare in the divorce process, then, will depend more than anything else on the team that you now form around yourself. You can’t afford to leave the decisions ahead to anyone else – especially if you have children – and the first choice you get to make is picking your attorney. If you can find a good listener, a coolheaded counselor, and an advocate honest enough to inform you of costs, risks, precedents, and strategies, to shape your expectations and help you decide when to compromise and when to fight, you’ll stand a much better chance of securing your assets, protecting your children, and smoothing the road ahead.
If you need help taking on the difficulties of divorce, please call our Saratoga divorce attorneys today to set up a consultation.
