If you’re reading this, it probably means you or someone close to you is going through a very hard time. Going through a custody battle is stressful and can leave you feeling confused, scared, and unsure of what will happen next. You may be asking yourself what steps to take and how to protect your child’s future. That’s completely normal. You are not alone. We understand how overwhelming this time is. What you need right now is guidance and support from people who understand what you are going through and know how to help.
Not Putting the Child First
One of the biggest mistakes people make during a custody case is forgetting that the court’s main concern is always the child. The judge wants to know what is best for your child, not what is most convenient for the parents. If you make choices that seem selfish or angry, it can hurt your case. Saying things like “I want to win” or “I want to punish the other parent” can make the judge question your motives. Every decision you make should show that your child’s happiness and safety come first.
Speaking Badly About the Other Parent
It can be very tempting to say bad things about your child’s other parent, especially when emotions are running high. But speaking poorly about them, especially in front of your child or in court, can work against you. Judges don’t like to see one parent trying to damage the relationship between a child and the other parent. If you try to make your child choose sides or if you involve them in adult problems, the court may think you are trying to control the situation instead of focusing on what’s best for the child.
Not Following Temporary Orders
Sometimes, the court will give temporary orders while the custody case is still ongoing. These may include rules about who the child lives with, when visits happen, or how to talk to the other parent. If you ignore these orders, it shows the court that you don’t take the legal process seriously. Even if you don’t agree with the temporary decision, you need to follow it. Disobeying orders can make the judge less likely to trust you later when making a final decision.
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Using Social Media the Wrong Way
It’s easy to forget that what you post on social media can be used in court. Posting angry messages, pictures of partying, or complaints about the other parent can be used as proof that you’re not acting responsibly. Even if your account is private, nothing you share online is ever truly private. It’s best to stay quiet online during your case. What you post can say a lot about how you handle stress, conflict, and parenting.
Not Keeping Good Records
When you are in the middle of a custody case, keeping notes and records can help a lot. If you don’t write down important dates, events, or messages, it may be hard to remember them clearly later. If the other parent is not following the rules or not showing up for visits, keeping track of this can be very helpful in court. But if you wait too long or forget what happened, it can hurt your case. Being organized shows the judge that you are serious and responsible.
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Letting Emotions Control Your Choices
It’s completely normal to feel upset, angry, or scared during a custody battle. But if your emotions control your actions, it can make the situation worse. Yelling, refusing to talk, or making fast decisions out of anger can damage your case. The court is looking to see who can handle tough times in a calm and mature way. If you show that you can stay level-headed even during hard moments, it tells the judge that you’re ready to make good choices for your child.
Not Having a Parenting Plan
A parenting plan is a written plan that explains how you and the other parent will share responsibilities. This includes who the child lives with, how decisions are made, and how holidays or school breaks will be handled. If you go to court without a clear idea of what you want, the judge may think you haven’t thought it through. Having a fair and thoughtful plan shows that you are putting your child’s needs first and are willing to work with the other parent to make things easier for your child.
Trying to Handle the Case Alone
Some parents think they can handle a custody case on their own without help. They may believe they understand everything or that their case is simple. But the truth is, family law in New York is complex. There are a lot of rules and steps that need to be followed. Missing one deadline or saying the wrong thing in court can have long-term effects. Having someone by your side who knows the process can help you avoid mistakes and make the right moves at the right time.
Letting Others Make Choices for You
Friends and family may try to give you advice, and they usually mean well. But what worked in their situation may not be right for yours. Every family is different, and New York’s laws are not the same as other places. Trusting people who don’t understand your case or the law can lead you down the wrong path. It’s important to make decisions based on what is right for your child, not based on someone else’s opinion.
Not Preparing for Court
Walking into a courtroom without being ready is a mistake that can cost you. This means more than just dressing nicely. You need to have your documents in order, know what you are going to say, and understand how the process works. Judges notice when someone is prepared and when someone is not. Taking the time to prepare shows that you respect the court and take your case seriously. It can make a big difference in how the judge sees you and how they make their decision.
A Final Word of Support and Guidance
If you’re going through a custody battle, you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve already taken a big step by learning what mistakes to avoid. That means you care deeply about your child and want to make the right choices. The truth is, these cases are never easy. But the right help can make a big difference. You deserve to have someone who listens, understands, and knows how to guide you through this with care and clarity.
At Mahserjian & Mahserjian-Ortiz, PLLC, we know how emotional and important these moments are. We are here to stand beside you, help you avoid the mistakes that can hurt your case, and build a strong plan that protects your child and your future. If you are facing a custody case and want to talk with someone who can help, reach out today. The right support can give you the peace of mind you need to move forward with strength.
